I’ve thought a lot more about my appointment yesterday, and the more I think about it, the more I wish I could go back and respond to things the endocrinologist said to me instead of just clamming up. These are a few of the things that are bothering me:
- When she was examining my thyroid, it hurt. It was uncomfortable and I’m sure my face clearly showed it, but I didn’t flinch or move away. She asked me, “why are you so scared of me touching your thyroid?” “I’m not scared,” I replied, “it hurts and it’s uncomfortable.” “That’s because you’re scared and you’re expecting it.” That wasn’t the only time she implied that my thyroid discomfort was caused by me worrying about it too much.
- She told me that having a TSH of 5.95 (mine last summer) was not hypothyroid. I don’t know; I’m not a doctor. This article suggests that anything above 5.0 is hypothyroid, but whatever. She said that I wouldn’t be considered hypothyroid until my TSH was around 30-40. Her reaction to 5.97 suggested that it was laughably low for anyone to consider hypothyroidism. So, since 5.97 is basically nothing, none of my symptoms were caused by my thyroid. And since my TSH is now around 3.5 or so, there’s no possible way anything I’m feeling could be caused by my thyroid.
- When I told her that I started feeling worse immediately after taking Synthroid (including my thyroid becoming extremely swollen and painful), she said “that’s a very interesting coincidence, but those two events are unrelated.”
- She was very stuck on my history of depression and anxiety – which has been well under control since around 2007. She asked me several times why I don’t see a therapist. “Because I don’t feel that I need one now.” I’m certain she doesn’t believe that I have those things under control.
There was more. I was there for 90 minutes! But I can’t do this anymore. I was reading the Doctor’s Hall of Shame on the Stop the Thyroid Madness website, and I think around half of those things have been said to me.
I obviously need a better doctor, but I can’t keep floating from doctor to doctor hoping to find one who isn’t going to treat me like a hypochondriac. Needle in a haystack. So, if you happen to be one of the 3 people who read this blog and you also happen to know a really good thyroid specializing doctor in the City of Toronto, I would really appreciate it if you left a comment.